A friend with smarts about brains tells me there is a neurological reason for procrastinating. As an Alexander Technique teacher, I’d say that my procrastination is a habit which, because it feels familiar, feels like the ‘right’ or only possible way to get things done. My friend’s suggestions for developing a system to get tasks done more efficiently seem terribly regimented and tedious and drain the spontaneity I crave out of the process. A tremendous resistance arises when I begin to try to implement any of his suggestions. Even thinking about trying some of his ideas causes me to check-out, go into avoidance mode, and distract myself from my work. The only time I can seem to get anything done is if there is time pressure, or a burst of inspiration that has a feeling of urgency to kick me into gear. Methodical, organized, disciplined action seems impossible. I crave the urgency, the rush, of rushing.

When I lie on the floor in semi-supine to rest I am practicing the art of not rushing, not forcing. This brings me a great sense of ease, yet doesn’t quite help me to get up to go and adopt the methodical approach to work that my friend recommends. I must commit myself to the discomfort of trying a new system that does not give the familiar rush, and therefore feels ineffective, even scary. New results are promised, but I need to work out for myself the motivation for taking the leap of faith.

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